Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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