Its about making memories worth repressing
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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