In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
