i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
