HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
