So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
