i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
In America we eat man semen.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
