Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Sorry about my life...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize