Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
