I want to walk on stilts...naked
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
