She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
