I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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