the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
