My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
