He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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