wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he just fucked me for my cheese..
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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