My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
