I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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