It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We are all done wearing pants today
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
