Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize