I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
