another moral hangover. fuck.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
