Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize