Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
