Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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