I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
