So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
