I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
