Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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