The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
These tits shall not be calmed
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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