Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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