nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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