just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
