Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
