There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize