If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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