dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
