I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
