Sry I called you an 8
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
