Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
