Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
