Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
