Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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