I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
