He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
