Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
