I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
