I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
