The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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