overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
