This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
