highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
