Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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