Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
