i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
