you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I am one with the molecules
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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