Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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