Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
