i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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