I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I want you more than these girls want KFC
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
