if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
