So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
