yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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