Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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