the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
