You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
