Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
