he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
